Dr. Sex Column #6 10-11-06

QUESTION: How can I sort through all the sexual information on the internet?

ANSWER: What kind of sexual stuff are you seeking? Nuts and bolts about human plumbing and reproduction? Statistics? Skill in sexual techniques? Do you just want to read some well-written material? Do you want to read some poorly written stuff?

I have some favorite websites for all of the above. I'll occasionally include some of the places I like. One is http://sexuality.org. Take a look-see for something different. This one is not about nut and bolts. Not all sexual information is cold and dry, or about who puts what where and wiggles.

Do you want sexually explicit material? (I think you can research this one on your own.) I'll tell you, though, that with the proliferation online of this material, we do know that behaviours we formerly thought of as extremely rare are now known to be more common. An actor simply cannot fake that s/he likes a sexual activity just for the pay involved. The camera doesn't lie. When you see extreme sexuality online, you can be reasonably assured that person does that behaviour in their private, off-camera lives, too.

Thus, I ask my audience the question... Does the internet tempt people to try sexual behaviours, or have people been doing them all along but feeling alone in doing so?

When looking to the internet for accurate, sexual information, remember that we live in the real world where few resources are totally value free and nonjudgmental. It's often difficult to pick up an author's point of view, and when s/he is wandering from fact into personal values that may conflict with fact. Values often cloud facts. Even scientific studies may be interpreted in ways that are distorted by value systems. I think it is clear what my perspectives are, and you should read them accordingly.

Just as you evaluate your medical needs and seek second opinions, I encourage you to question the sexual information you are given as fact with other resources, especially when they don't "feel" right to you. You will always have to distill information and utilize it as it fits with your life needs and value system. And, most of all, if it's a turn-off don't do it.

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