Dr. Sex - Column #4 08/23/06

Question: What are the effects of using Vaseline® as a sexual lubricant?

Answer: Vaseline® or any petroleum based products such as mineral oil, baby oil, some hand lotions or massage oils should NEVER be used as a sexual lubricant as they are not water-soluble, so they cannot be easily washed from body orifices, and any residue left behind may potentially be a site where bacteria could breed and cause infection. Petroleum based products will also cause latex condoms to disintegrate. Not a good idea.

For a lubricant you want something wet and slick. Try one or more of the various lubricants that have specifically been designed for sex such as Astroglide®, Intime'®, or any other water-soluble product. Most pharmacies, lingerie shops or sex toy stores have a selection of them.

My personal favorite is J-Lube®, a powder you mix with water, and which may be acquired from Nasco Farm & Ranch in Canada by phoning 1-800-668-0600. It is a veterinary lubricant and costs much less than any sex lubricant on sale in stores. No, you won't bark or lift your leg on a fire hydrant after using it. Their catalog is fascinating and has lots of products for the sexually explorative person. Ask for one.

By the way, there is no such thing as using too much lubrication. As women age, lubrication lessens. Dryness can cause irritation and painful sex.

Please visit my website at http://Doctor-Sex.org

Submit questions to askdrsex@gmail.com

Dr. Sex - Column #3 08-09-06

QUESTION: How can I cure my abnormally high sex drive?

ANSWER: I'm not sure I know what an "abnormally high" sex drive is.
Whose sex drive are you measuring it against? There is a wide range to what healthy, normal humans do, sexually.

Some healthy, normal folks simply have no interest in sex, some like sexual activity more than once a day. Some people just like it more than others. They enjoy it as a hobby, one that they may be able to share with a partner.

Is touching sexual? Is kissing sexual? Is talking about sex being sexual? Variables such as age, health, living arrangements and contentment with relationships may also have an affect on sex drive.

When you talk about "cure," you make sex drive sound like a disease, which it is not, hence there can be no cure. If you are concerned about your sex drive, or that of your partners, don't feel pressured to abide by what other people do. You know what is right for you and what is uncomfortable. Let that information guide you in your decision-making, communication, and judgment.

If your sexual choices are interfering with other parts of your life, then seek appropriate counseling, but please don't buy the specious addiction model when it comes to sexuality. It just doesn't fit. I'll discuss more about this topic in the next column.

For information about Dr. Sex visit http://Doctor-Sex.org
Have a question for Dr. Sex? E-mail him at askdrsex@gmail.com

Dr. Sex - Column #2 08/02/06

Question: What turns on a woman so much she will do anything I want?

Answer: That's an answer many men and women want to know. Actually, it's a professional secret that only we sexologists know. I won't tell you the whole story, but I will give you a few clues.

To be sure that I'm leading you on the right path, I called a woman I know, and I posed your question to her. Her instant response was "trust." She said that trust, which comes from honesty, creates a feeling of safety that allows her to explore sexual behaviours which are new to her. And, she said that she prefers a sexually experienced, skillful partner who is knowledgeable of a woman's body, her sexual feelings and responses, and behaves as an equal; a partner who knows how to touch, has open-eye sex and good personal hygiene (clean body and clothes).

How's that for a start? I don't want to give you all the secrets at once. With this beginning, you should be able to figure out some more of the rest on your own.

Please visit my website at http://Doctor-Sex.org

Submit questions to askdrsex@gmail.com

Dr. Sex - Column #1 The Express 7-19-06

Today begins a trial run of Dr. Sex. I want to encourage you to enquire or comment about sex and relationships, and I'll try to respond briefly with nonjudgmental information, and hopefully effect an occasional smile or laugh. I'll resist morality debates and adversary. Tact and diplomacy are not usually my traditional long suits, but I'll try to be careful of people's sensitivities. I'll also give appropriate references.

I've often said that aside from procreation, sex is like chocolate. Some people just like it more than others. It's adult sandbox play. We want our youth to have accurate sexual information so they will be able to make appropriate sexual choices when they are ready to do so. Each of us defines readiness differently, and we must respect that.

I want people to have sexual interactions that are safe, sane and consensual, but I acknowledge that two out of three ain't bad, and one will do in a pinch. Smile.

For information about me and some of my perspectives, please visit my website at http://Doctor-Sex.org.

You may write your questions to me at askdrsex@gmail.com.